


Phan (Too lazy to think of a good title)

by JustBecauseICan14



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Gay - Fandom, Phan, Phil - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6237151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBecauseICan14/pseuds/JustBecauseICan14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blah blah Dan and Phil fall in love and stuff like that. I can't write good summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Dan! Come on we’re gonna be late!” Phil yelled. They were about to do their live show on Radio 1 and Dan wasn’t even dressed yet. “Give me a minute!” Dan shouted back. The younger male quickly grabbed a random shirt and a pair of pants and hurriedly put them on. Dan was about to leave until he looked in the mirror and saw that he still had his “Hobbit hair” and saw that he had to straighten it. Dan quickly ran to the bathroom and straightened his hair and ran out of the bathroom and into the living room where Phil was waiting.  
“What took you so long? Let’s go! The taxi has been waiting!” Phil said as he grabbed Dan’s arm and pulled him out the door. Dan blushed at the Phil’s touch. Dan had grown a crush over the older male because of various Skype calls, texts, and living with him. Dan knew the Phandom would love to see them get together and Dan knew he’d love to get together with Phil. He doesn’t feel the same way. The voice in Dan’s head said every time Dan was getting ready to tell Phil how he really felt.  
“Dan?” Phil asked, snapping Dan out of his thoughts. “Yeah?” Dan said looking at Phil. “You ok?” Phil asked, voice full of concern. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Dan lied and forced a smile hoping that Phil would believe him. Phil furrowed his eyebrows knowing it wasn’t the truth but knew there was no point in pursuing the matter. Dan would tell him when he wanted to. After a few minutes of awkward silence they finally arrived at their destination. Phil quickly paid the man and ran up to the studio with Dan following close behind.  
After the radio show was over Dan tried to break the tension by saying, “I swear no matter how many times I do the show it always feels surreal.” “Yeah. Hey Dan?” Phil asked. “Yeah?” Dan asked. Phil looked like he was about to say something important but instead said, “When we get home do you wanna record something for DanAndPhilGAMES?” “Sure, what do you wanna record?” Dan asked. “There are a few knock offs of Sonic.exe that have been requested so do you wanna play those?” Phil said. “Sure.”  
When the two males got home they recorded a few knock off Sonic.exe games and then they decided to stop. “Well those games were pretty shit.” Dan said with a laugh. Phil joined Dan in laughter and said, “They weren’t nearly as good as the original.” After the laughter had died down Dan found himself staring into Phil’s ocean blue eyes. They’re so beautiful I wish I had eyes like that. My eye’s are the color shit. He’ll never love me…well not in the way I love him anyway.   
“Dan are you ok?” Phil asked. “Yeah.” Dan said. “Are you sure? You’ve been acting really strange recently.” Phil said, determined to get the information out of Dan. “I said I’m fine.” Dan said sternly. “I don’t believe you.” Phil said crossing his arms, but then remembered that he was talking to Dan and he wouldn’t tell Phil anything unless he wanted to.  
“Nevermind. Just know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” Phil sighed and started to walk, the hurt apparent in his eyes. Dan had just hurt his friend, his best friend who’d always been there for him when he needed him, and the one who listened to him when no one else would. That’s it I have to tell him. “Phil!” Dan shouted. “What?” Phil said turning to face Dan. “Something is wrong.” Dan said looking down. Phil’s expression softened and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” Dan slowly nodded his head.   
Phil sat down next to his friend and put his hand on Dan’s back, which was a signal for Dan to continue. “I guess it started in 2009, yes I know it’s really cliche but it’s true, when we Skyed, when we talked, when I moved in with you, I started to feel butterflies in my stomach. I really didn’t understand what the feeling was, but after thinking for a while I finally decided that the feeling was love. Not friendly love mind you, but love, love, I know you don’t feel the same way so I’ll go pack my things but I do love you Phil.” Dan said as he got up but Phil quickly stood up and connected his lips with Dan’s.  
Dan was in shock at first but quickly recovered. The kiss was just like Dan dreamed of. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. After a few minutes of kissing they pulled away. “I love you Daniel.” Phil said. Dan couldn’t help but blush when Phil said his name. “I love you too Philip.” Dan said with a grin on his face. “So should we tell the Phans?” Phil asked. “Let’s make them wait a little longer.” Dan said as he connected their lips again.


	2. Chapter

Dan woke up to the aroma of bacon wafting into his room, which was weird since the two of them never ate anything else except for a bowl of cereal in the morning. Dan slowly crept out of bed and made his way towards the kitchen where he saw Phil leaning over the stove frying bacon on a pan. He tiptoed his way to Phil until he was standing directly behind him. Just as Dan was about to put his arm around his amazing boyfriend, Phil spun around and tackled him causing them both to tumble to the floor.  
“What the Hell Phil?” Dan asked while he was laughing.  
“Sorry it was the first thing I thought to do!” Phil chuckled.  
“Really? Tackling your boyfriend was the first thing you thought to do? How did you know I was behind you anyway?” Dan asked.  
“Well you weren’t exactly quiet,” Phil explained. They both laughed, but just then did they realize how close they were. Phil was laying directly on top of Dan, their faces only inches apart.  
Dan slowly leaned in closer and closer, slowly closing his eyes, until finally their lips were touching. Their lips moved together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.   
Dan then slowly pulled away, feeling the absence of Phil’s lips on his own. His heart was telling him to keep kissing Phil, but his mind was telling him to walk away and act like this never happened. It was an internal battle that was going on inside him.  
Meanwhile, Phil felt empty without Dan’s lips on his own. What made Dan pull away? Phil asked himself. Phil wrapped his pale arms around Dan’s neck and pulled him closer once again.  
“What’s wrong?” Phil asked.   
Dan debated if he should tell Phil that he felt like Phil deserved better. Someone not broken like Dan, someone that could make Phil feel special.   
“Nothing,” Dan answered as he unwrapped Phil’s arms from his neck. “We should probably check on the bacon.”  
Phil nodded and started standing up, feeling cold without Dan’s body lying underneath him.   
Dan gave Phil a weak smile while Phil helped him up. Then they heard a smoke alarm echo throughout the flat. “Damn bacon,” Phil muttered as he turned off the oven.   
Dan looked at the bacon and noticed that is was burned. “Phil the bacon is burned!” Dan said as he picked up the pan and dumped the bacon in the trash.  
“So...cereal?” Phil asked.  
“Only if you don’t steal mine,” Dan responded with a smirk.  
“But yours tastes so much better!” Phil winned.  
“But it’s exactly the same!” Dan protested.  
“But yours tastes better!” Phil argued back.  
“How?” Dan asked as he folded his arms.  
“Because it’s yours and you make everything better,” Phil said with a huge grin on his face.   
Dan blushed and muttered, “Alright, but just this once. Even though I know you’ll steal my cereal while I sleep.”   
“And I’ll stroke your glabella while you sleep too,” Phil said as he stroked Dan’s glabella, causing Dan to laugh.  
“You idiot,” Dan mumbled as he got his cereal.  
They both ate their cereal and watched Buffy. Interest within the Japanese animation, their eyes glued onto the screen.   
Dan and Phil had ended up watching for a few hours without realizing how long they were glued to the show.   
They glanced at the clock and saw it was 12. Seeming to have alerted by the time, Phil stood and remembered that later that week he was going to visit his parents. Oh crap I never told Dan I was leaving! I better tell him now… Phil thought as he looked over at Dan who, even though he got up no more than a few hours ago, looked like he was falling back asleep.  
“Dan,” Phil said. “Yeah?” Dan asked looking at his boyfriend. “I forgot to tell you I’m leaving next week.” Phil said. “Wait, what?” Dan said automatically sitting up with an alarmed look on his face. “I’m going to visit my parents next week.” Phil clarified causing Dan to loosen up a tad. “Phil you know I don’t like being home alone!” Dan whined. “It’ll only be for a few days Bear I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Phil said. “....Ok but you’re so paying the electric bill.” Dan said as he crossed his arms. “Ok, now I better start packing.” Phil said as he quickly stretched. “Now? Can’t it wait?” Dan asked doing his best puppy dog face. “I can’t say no when you do that face!” Phil said as he sat back down on the couch next to Dan. The two males sat there and talked about various things until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.  
You don’t deserve him. You don’t make him happy. He doesn’t love you. He never loved you. You’re stupid, ugly, and no one will EVER love you, especially not him. No, you’re not good enough for him, or anyone. You should go die faggot. Everyone hates you, they’re just being nice to spare your feelings and no one cares about you. Phil hates you, that’s why he’s going to his parents house. He can’t stand you.   
“Dan! Dan wake up!” A familiar voice called shaking Dan up from his horrendous nightmare. Dan opened his eyes to see Phil looking at him. “Are you ok?” Phil asked, voice full of concern. “I’m fine.” Dan said. “You’re not ‘fine’ Dan! You were crying in your sleep!” Phil said, raising his voice. “I don’t remember why I was crying.” Dan lied. Of course he remembered. Those thoughts had been pestering him ever since he met Phil.  
Phil gave Dan a curious look and glanced at the clock. It was 1 in the morning. “Dan?” Phil asked. “Yeah?” Dan said as he looked at Phil. “Do you wanna share my bed tonight?” Phil asked. Dan grinned and wanted to shout YES but he refrained himself from doing so and said, “I’d love to.” Then the two changed into their pajamas and when to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan woke up and noticed that he was not in his room. He sat up and the memories from the night before rushed into his mind. So if I’m in Phil’s room, then where’s Phil? Dan thought, noticing his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. He just must’ve went to the store or something. Dan thought as he got up and went to his room to get his computer so he could assume the browsing position. Once the younger male got into his room he noticed a note on his computer.

Dear Bear,  
I had to leave today. There was a family emergency but   
I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. I love you.  
Love,   
Phil  
Dan sighed as soon as he finished reading the note knowing that it would be just him and his thoughts for the next few days. Dan unplugged his computer and assumed the browsing position. There is no amount of fluffing that could fix that sofa crease. After a few hours of aimlessly browsing Tumblr Dan realized that he hadn't eaten all day and decided to eat some cereal. He slowly made his way towards the kitchen and opened the cabinet and grabbed a bowl. Then Dan grabbed his cereal and put it into a bowl and grabbed some milk and began to pour it into the bowl until verbal thoughts assaulted his brain.  
No one loves you! Just die already! Everyone hates you! No one wants you around! You’re never gonna get anywhere in life you useless queer! Phil doesn’t love you! Phil never loved you! He’s gonna leave you! There was no family emergency he just couldn’t stand your bullshit! Go die faggot! You can’t even muster up enough courage to tell the fans you're with Phil! He deserves so much better than you!  
Then Dan heard his phone ring and that snapped him out of his thoughts and back into reality. He noticed that he was now currently sat on the floor and that 90% of the milk that was in the bottle was now on the floor. “Damn.” Dan muttered to himself as he got up and sat the milk up and answered his phone.  
“Hello?” Dan asked.  
“Hey Dan.” A familiar voice said that Dan recognised almost instantly.  
“Hi Phil, what’s up?” Dan asked. What’s up? What kind of stupid question is that he had a family emergency but you went with what’s up.  
“You read the note I left on your computer right?” Phil asked.  
“Yeah.” Dan said.  
“Well I won’t be back for a while. My mom had a heart attack and is in the hospital.” Phil said, his voice dripping his sadness.  
“Phil I’m so sorry! I can come over there if you want me to!” Dan said suddenly.  
“That’s really sweet of you Dan but right now I’d rather just deal with this with my family.” Phil said.   
Dan heard what he assumed to be Phil’s brother in the background.  
“I gotta go Dan. I love you Bear, bye!” Phil said as he hung up before Dan had a chance to say anything.  
See, he doesn’t want you around anymore. He doesn’t care about you. Why don’t you go die in a hole? He’s tired of putting up with you. You’re stupid, you’re dumb, and you definitely don’t deserve to be with Phil. He hates you so much.  
Before he could think anymore he heard his phone ring again.   
“Hello?” Dan said.  
“Dan it’s Louise, I was wondering if you and Phil could babysit Darcy for a little while.” Louise said, her voice sounding urgent.  
“It’s just me here. And sure.” Dan said.  
“Thanks. I’ll be over in a minute.” Louise said as she hung up.  
Dan decided to clean up the kitchen and get himself together if he was going to be babysitting an almost 5 year old. Once he cleaned up and ate his cereal he heard a knock at the door. Dan opened the door to see a confused Darcy and a stressed out Louise. “Thanks for this Dan. I have to leave now. I’ll explain what happened later. Take care of Darcy and Darcy be good for Dan.” Louise said as she gave Darcy a quick peck on her forehead. “Ok. Bye Louise.” Dan said as Louise left.  
Dan looked and Darcy who was still standing outside as she watched her mother get back into the cab and leave. “Darcy why don’t you come inside.” Dan said as he took the young girl's hand and led her into the flat. “Dan.” Darcy said. “Yeah?” Dan said as he made eye contact with the small girl. “Something happened to Daddy.” Darcy said. Dan not knowing how to avoid the awkward situation said, “I’m sure your daddy will be fine sweetheart. Now let’s go play some videogames.” “Ok.” Darcy said as she let Dan lead her into the living room.  
After hours of teaching/playing Mario Kart with Darcy Dan glanced at the clock and saw it was past 10.   
“What time does your mummy usually have you in bed by?” Dan asked not wanting to be a bad babysitter.   
“Mummy usually has me in bed by 8.” Darcy said.   
“Shit.” Dan mumbled.   
“What?” Darcy said.   
“It’s time bed.” Dan said.   
“Aw but I was just getting good!” Darcy complained.   
“We can play some other time if you go to sleep.” Dan said.   
“Promise?” Darcy asked with hope in her eyes.  
“Promise.” Dan said.  
Dan led Darcy to Phil’s room and tucked her in. “If you need anything just let me know.” Dan said. Then Dan left the room and shut the door and sprinted into his room. Dan pulled out his cell and scrolled through his contacts until he saw Louise’s number.  
“Hello.” Louise’s voice said through the phone.  
“Where are you?” Dan asked.  
“At the hospital. Matt’s been in an accident.” Louise said in a mild panic.  
“What happened?” Dan asked, in shock about what he just heard.  
“He was driving home and got hit by a car.” Louise said, voice breaking.  
“Oh my God Louise that’s horrible.” Dan said.  
“I called a cab a while ago so I should be there to pick up Darcy shortly. How is she?” Louise asked.  
“I just put her to bed.” Dan said.  
“Good. I’ll be there in about an hour.” Louise said.  
“Ok, I’ll see you then.” Dan said.  
“Bye.” Louise said and Dan hung up the phone.  
Louise doesn’t like you. Darcy doesn’t like you. No one likes you. No one loves you. You’re gonna die alone. Phil’s gonna move out of the flat because he can’t stand your bullshit. I bet Phil wants you to die too but he’s just too nice to say it. You’re stupid, you’re dumb, and you’re inconsiderate. What is wrong with you? You not good enough for anyone. If you really loved Phil you’d do yourself a favor and just die already. Just die you dumb fuck.  
“Dan?” Darcy asked as she cautiously peered around the door. “Yeah?” Dan asked. “Are you ok? You’re crying.” Darcy said. Shit. She saw me cry. And she’s just a kid. Dan thought. “Um... yeah I’m ok. Just thinking. Why are you up?” Dan asked. “I couldn’t sleep.” Darcy said. Dan sighed and said, “Get over here.” Darcy quickly walked over to Dan just to have her picked up only be put in Dan’s bed. The brunette asked, “Is there a reason why you couldn’t sleep?” “I don’t like the dark.” Darcy said. Dan glanced down and said, “Is there anything I can do to help?” “Can you tell me a story?” Darcy asked. “You don’t want me to do that do you?” Dan asked but then he saw the hope in the little girl’s eyes before saying, “You do don’t you?” “Yes please.”  
“Ok. Once there was a guy, let’s call him Bob. Bob really didn’t have a best friend for the first 18 years of his life and was pretty lonely. I mean, Bob had friends but Bob couldn’t fully trust any of them until Bob stumbled upon YouTube. Bob then found this guy, let’s call him Peter, who made videos online and really wanted to be friends with him. So Bob followed Peter on every social media site he had and liked and commented on every single post Peter made. It was somewhere in that moment that Bob realized he wanted to do what Peter did, he wanted to make a YouTube channel. Bob really wanted to do this but didn’t have enough courage to, until one day Peter said, ‘I see we have a lot in common. Do you wanna Skype?’ Bob was thrilled and almost automatically Skyped Phil-I mean Peter. Bob also asked Peter for editing tips Then they talked and got along really well with each other and, ironically, they both had a friend that lived in Manchester. They decided to meet there. When the two met it was amazing. They got along really well and a year later Peter asked Bob to move in with him. Bob said yes and Peter was the first best friend that Bob ever had. They did amazing things together and Peter helped Bob with his YouTube videos and then they were best friends until they died.”  
“I really like that story.” Darcy said sleepily. “I do too.” Dan said with a grin and then the young girl fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

After a few minutes of sitting with Darcy to make sure she was asleep Dan made his way into the lounge so he could watch some anime. Dan heard a knock at the door and saw Louise who’d obviously been crying.  
“Louise are you ok?” Dan asked. Are you ok? Matt’s in the hospital and she looks like she’s been crying does she look like she’s fucking ok?  
“I’m ok Dan. Thanks for watching Darcy.” Louise said with a sad grin.  
“It’s ok. She wasn’t any trouble.”Dan said.  
“Speaking of Darcy, where is she?”   
“She’s asleep in my room.”  
Dan led Louise to his room and opened the door to see a sleeping Darcy. “She looks so much like you.” Dan said. Louise smiled and walked over to Darcy and lightly shook her. “Darcy, sweetheart, we have to go home now.” Louise said. Darcy groaned and said, “Can’t we stay just a little longer?” “I’m sorry but the cab is waiting. I’ll carry you if you want.” Louise said. Darcy nodded sleepily and Louise picked her up. “Thanks again Dan.” Louise said as she left, leaving Dan alone in the apartment. Dan looked at the clock and noticed it was 11:30. He sighed and deiced it was time to go to bed.  
Dan was walking around in a dark forest at night. Of course it had to be in a dark forest at night. Why wouldn’t it be in a dark forest at night? Dan thought as he walked around. He didn’t even have a torch. This sucks. Dan thought miserably. After what felt like hours of walking he stumbled upon a building. The building itself wasn’t in good shape. It was decrepted and the walls were hardly there along with the plant life that infiltrated it.  
Dan sighed and walked into the building. As soon as he stepped into the building he heard something behind him. He froze in his tracks and slowly turned around to see Phil. “Phil?” Dan asked, still not sure if it was his boyfriend or not. “Dan?” Phil asked. “Phil!” Dan screamed with glee as he ran to his boyfriend but all of a sudden shadows appeared in front of him.   
“You know you’re no good for him, and yet you stay, why?” The tallest shadow whispered. “I-” Dan started.   
“You know he doesn’t love you.” The second tallest shadow said.  
“He does.” Dan said more confidently than he felt.  
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” The shortest shadow said as it motioned towards Phil.  
“Phil?” Dan asked, his voice full of hope.  
“Dan….I’m sorry. I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t love you.” Phil said.  
Tears started streaming down Dan’s face.  
Dan shot up in bed crying. He glanced over at his computer only to see an incoming Skype call. Dan accepted the Skype call and saw Phil’s smiling face. Dan quickly grinned to try to hide the fact of he’d been crying and surprisingly succeeded.  
“Hi Dan!” Phil said cheerfully.  
“Hey Phil. How’s your mum?” Dan asked.  
“Better! She should be getting out tomorrow and I’ll definitely be home a few days.” Phil said, his grin getting bigger.  
“That’s good. I can’t wait for you to come home.” Dan said.  
“I promise I’ll be home soon. I love you Bear.” Phil said.  
“Love you too.” Dan said.  
After a few more hours of talking Phil asked, “So how’ve you been?”  
“I babysitted Darcy.” Dan said casually.  
“Really? Did she destroy the flat?” Phil asked.  
“No. We just sat down while I kicked her but in Mario Kart.” Dan said honestly.  
“Of course you would Dan! You’re the Mario Kart master!” Phil said.  
Dan couldn’t help but laugh as he said, “Yeah I guess I am.”  
“Even though I have the Mario Kart 8 badge on the Dan vs. Phil board.”  
“That’s only because you made me drive the fucking cat car and have those shitty patchwork wheels!”  
“Oh yeah Dan blame the car!”  
The two talked for a few more hours and then they both ended the call.  
Dan couldn’t help but grin after the long conversation. To try to ignore the feeling of loneliness he realized it was Tuesday and that he should do his weekly live show. I’ll do it later for now I better record something. Maybe another dares, opinions….internet support group…yeah internet support group sounds good. Dan thought.  
After doing an internet support group video Dan sighed and got on Twitter. There was tons of comments asking when the live show was. He decided he better do it now while he’s still motivated. He set everything up and Tweeted about it. Instantly the chat was filled with ‘Hi Dan.’ and ‘Where’s Phil?’. Dan grinned knowing the chat would keep him entertained for an hour.  
During the live show Dan finally answered one of the ‘Where’s Phil?’ Questions. “Phil isn’t here. He’s out with family.” Dan said. As soon as he finished that sentence the chat exploded  
‘Poor Dan.’,  
‘Is Phan real?’,  
‘Are you lonely?  
‘PHILLY Y U LEAVE DANNY ALONE?’!  
Dan couldn’t help but chuckle at the last one.  
“Come on guys, Phil’s allowed to see people besides me. Can’t say I blame him really. I am a pain.” Dan said. Dan ment it as a joke, kind of but the chat blew up.   
‘Dan you’re awesome, don’t ever say that you aren’t!’  
‘DANUYL U ARE DA BESTEST PERSON!’  
‘We love you Dan’  
Dan grinned and quickly wiped away a tear that was forming and said, “Thanks guys. I needed someone to say that.”  
‘Is Dan crying?’  
‘Are you ok Dan?’  
‘No problem Dan, we all love you.’  
Dan looked at the timer and saw it’d been an hour and said, “Well thank you all for tuning in for this live show and now I’m gonna go make food unless someone says something I care about more than food.” The chat started spouting random things and Dan said, “Nothing. Ok guys I should see you next week. Bye.” Dan turned off the camera and put his head in his hands.   
I really do have amazing fans. You don’t deserve any of them. You’re just some stupid british dude that has no life. No one cares about you. They just come for your looks and you still don’t even look that great. Shut up. Why? Because you know it’s true.  
Dan then decided to edit the internet support group video in an attempt to save himself from his own mind. The editing process took shorter than expected. He decided to upload the video that day. He waited for the video to process and decided to bring up Tumblr. As he aimlessly browsed Tumblr he looked at the Phan tag. As expected he was bombarded with Phanart and Phanfiction. He chuckled at some of the art and cringed at others. Once he saw the video was uploaded he Tweeted about it and decided to play some video games. He then got a phone call from Phil.  
“Hi Phil.”  
“Dan I’m coming home tonight.”  
“Why did something happen?”  
“My mum….she died.”  
“What? I thought she was getting better!”  
“She was but then something happened. I should be home later tonight so I’ll see you then.”  
“Ok. I love you.”  
“Love you too.”  
Dan sat there thinking. It’s your fault his mum died. How is it my fault? Because you took Phil away from her. You took him away from her because you can’t be on your own you little shit. Stop calling me that. No. Go die. Go get the razor and slit your wrists and die. You know what, maybe I will.  
And with that Dan walked into the bathroom and lifted the razor and put it against his sensitive skin.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
Phil hugged his brother as he got ready to leave. “Bye Martyn.” Phil said. “Bye Phil. Don’t be a stranger, alright?” Martyn said. Phil sadly grinned and said, “I won’t and don’t be a stranger either.” Martyn laughed and said, “I won’t now you might want to get back to your flatmate. I’m sure he’s missed you.” Phil smiled and waited for the cab to arrive. When the cab arrived Phil hugged his brother again and left. As soon as he sat down in the cab he started thinking.  
I’m gonna miss Mum. She was always so nice. Should I tell the fans? Is it really my thing to tell? Should I ask the rest of my family first? How’s Dan? I know he liked my mum. That and Dan really doesn’t like being left alone. I’ll have to make it up to him somehow. I love him so much. I hope he’s alright.  
After a while he arrived back at his flat. Phil opened the door and shouted, “Dan! I’m back!” There was no response. “Dan?” Phil shouted again. Phil made his way to the living room and he wasn’t there and then Dan’s room and saw he wasn’t there. That’s when he started to panic. Phil quickly ran towards the bathroom and saw Dan sitting in the bathtub, wrists slit. Dan’s skin was almost as pale as snow. Phil quickly glanced at the counter and saw a razor with Dan’s blood on it. There was a note under it so it didn’t take long to process what had happened. “OH MY GOD DAN!” Phil screamed. He ran towards Dan and checked Dan’s pulse and saw that he was still alive.  
Phil pulled out his phone and dialed 999. He sat there keeping on the line and pushing washcloths against Dan’s wrists to try to stop the blood. Upon closer examination Phil saw cuts all over Dan’s body which were bleeding just as bad as the ones on his wrist. Phil tried to stop the blood as best as he could. Phil sighed once he heard a knock at the door, which he could only assume was the ambulance. Phil opened the door and saw some medics standing there with a stretcher. Phil let them in and watched as they loaded Dan onto the stretcher. They offered Phil a ride on the ambulance which Phil obviously accepted. Once he sat down in the ambulance next to a near-dead Dan he couldn’t help but think, What made Dan do this? And more importantly Is Dan going to survive?  
Author’s note: I’m sorry about this short chapter but I promise the next will be longer! Pinkie promise! Either way sorry about the shitty writing I did this on my own so yeah…either way next should be out soon! So with that out of the way, thank you guys so much for reading and constructive criticism is always appreciated and I hope you guys have an amazing day!


	6. Chapter 6

Once they got to the hospital the doctors started to stitch some of Dan’s cuts. They made Phil sit in the waiting room. Phil sat there for what felt like hours before a doctor stood in front of Phil and said, “Phil Lester I presume.” Phil nodded.   
“Daniel is in good enough condition for you to come visit him. His family has already been contacted.” The doctor said.   
“Thanks. What room is he in?”  
“Room B 78.”  
“Thanks.” Phil said as me made his way towards Dan’s room. B 74, B 76, B 78. Here it is. Phil thought as he entered the room. He cautiously approached the bed and saw Dan lying there, tubes coming out of his arms, cuts bandaged and stitched up. Phil couldn’t help but notice how much paler Dan was. Dan...why? Is it my fault? Is there something I could’ve done? Why didn’t you talk to me? Phil thought as he looked at Dan.  
“Phil, I presume.” A voice said.  
“Yeah.” Phil said as he lifted his head. He saw it was a doctor.  
“I’m Doctor John. Dan has lost a surprising amount of blood. If you wouldn’t of tried to stop it he most likely would’ve died.” Dr. John said.  
Phil stayed silent staring at Dan. He looked so lifeless. Almost like a zombie. “Will Dan live?” Phil whispered.  
“Right now it’s rather unclear on whether he’ll live, or ever wake up for that matter, time will tell.” Dr. John said.  
Phil noticeably tensed up. “Is there anything I can do?” Phil asked voice wavering.  
“Well you can stay with him and answer a few questions.”  
Phil nodded.  
“Did you notice and changes in Dan’s behavior before this happened?” Dr. John said as he clicked his pen and got ready to write on his clipboard.  
“Um...well he started being more secretive. He really didn’t talk to me as much as he used to. I didn’t know that he would do this….” Phil said as he started trailing off.  
“Did you let Dan know that you’d be there for him?” Dr. John said as he wrote down what Phil said.  
“Of course! He knows that I’d do anything for him! I always asked if he wanted to talk about it but he never did!”  
“Has Dan showed any signs of depression?”  
“Apart from existential crises, no….hold on I take that back! Sometimes I hear Dan pacing back in forth in his bedroom at night. I really didn’t think much of it though.”  
After a few more questions Dr. John left leaving Dan and Phil alone. Phil took a set in the chair next to the bed. “Dan...I love you. Please don’t leave. Your fans need you, your family needs you, and I need you. Please, I don’t want to go to two funerals or lose two people I care about in one day. I love you so much. Remember when you said that you had a crush on my back in 2009? I had a crush on you too. But hey at least we’re a couple now right? Please wake up Bear. I don’t wanna face this world without you.” Phil said, tears streaming down his face. Of course Dan didn’t wake up, but Phil came and stayed with him day after day, as long as they’d let him, Phil was going to stay. The doctors began to notice Phil and know him on a first name basis. After 3 weeks a doctor finally decided to come talk to Phil.  
“Phil.” Dr. John said.  
Phil looked up from Dan’s bed to Dr. John.  
“I don’t think there’s anything else we can do for Dan, the family left it up to you to decide whether or not to pull the plug.”  
Phil’s world stopped. He didn’t know what to say or think or say. “Two more weeks.” Phil mumbled.  
“What?”  
“If he doesn’t wake up in two more weeks pull the plug.” Phil said, more clearly this time.  
“Ok. I’ll leave you two alone then.” Dr. John said as he walked out of the room.  
Dan please wake up. I don’t want you to die….


	7. Chapter 7

It was the last chance that Dan had to wake up. Phil paced back and forth in his room debating on wether or not to go see his boyfriend. He needs you! No he doesn’t. He won’t wake up anyway. Yes he will! Do you want to see him die? No. Then stay home. No. Why? Because Dan needs me and I need him. Phil then got ready to see his boyfriend, who might never wake up again.  
When Phil arrived at the hospital he walked to Dan’s room, and took a seat right next to Dan’s bed. Come on Dan. Please wake up….Please, I don’t want you to go. I still want to hold you and not let you go, the three hour breakfasts, watching anime with you, smiling with you, just your smile in general, I really don’t want them to pull the plug Dan. I don’t want you to die, but I can’t keep you in here forever if you’re never gonna wake up.  
Phil sat there until it was time for the doctors to pull the plug. “Are you sure you want us to do this?” Dr. John asked.  
“If he’s not waking up now then I don’t think he ever will.” Phil said, tears threatening to spill.  
Dr. John pulled the plug and Dan watched as the line went from a steady beeping noise to a flat line, and in that moment he knew his world had just changed.


	8. Chatper 8

Phil sat up in bed covered in sweat and tears. Was it a dream? He looked around his room cautiously in hopes that it was a dream. “I guess we’ll find out when we get to the hospital.” Phil muttered to himself as he forced himself out of his bed. Phil made his way to the bathroom that he spent as less time as he could in. The bathtub was still soaked in Dan’s blood. I better clean that up in case Dan gets to come home today. Phil then grabbed the cleaning supplies and began to clean the bathroom, starting with the bathtub. Once the bathtub was clean Phil found a note near the sink. How did I not notice this before? Oh that’s right….I didn’t want to spend anytime in here so I most likely overlooked it. Then Phil began to read the note.  
Dear Phil,  
If you’re reading this then I must already be gone. I guess I should come clean about everything then. Remember all those times you asked me if something was wrong and I said no? Well I lied. I’m sorry Phil. I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I never thought that I’d come from a fanboy, to becoming your friend, to your best friend, and then to your boyfriend. I’ll never forget you. I know it’s really cliche but it’s true. Plus I’m sure you’re done dealing with my bullshit anyway. You’re a little ray of sun who is one of the happiest people in this Earth. And do me a favor, continue AmazingPhil because Phil, you really are amazing. You’ll get on fine without me. You’ll get married, have adopt kids, and most likely forget all about me because I’m that insignificant. Either way, goodbye Phil and for some reason if you do miss me, remember, again another cliche, that I want you to keep living and enjoy life.  
Bye Philip Michael Lester. Enjoy life and take care of Dil.  
Love,  
Daniel James Howell  
Tears started to stream down Phil’s face after he read the letter. I need to go see Dan. Now! Phil thought as he quickly ran into his room and threw on a random shirt and a pair of pants. Please be ok, please be ok. Once Phil arrived at the hospital he bolted into Dan’s room and saw Dan still unconscious. Thank god. Phil then walked near Dan’s bed and took Dan’s hand, “I found your note Dan. You’re not insignificant and I can’t see myself with anyone else but you. You honestly no clue how long I’ve been waiting to date you. When I realized I loved you I thought you’d never love me back because you were straight. I-I love you Dan. I already lost mum and I don’t wanna lose you too. Please.” Phil stuttered as tears began coming down his face.  
“P-Phil?” a voice said. “DAN!” Phil shouted as he threw his arms around his boyfriend. “Phil I’m glad that you’re happy to see me but I’d like to breath.” Dan laughed. Phil loosened his grip on Dan but refused to let go completely. “Are you ok Dan?” Phil asked. “Yes, Phil, I’m fine. But where am I?” Dan asked finally aware of where he was.   
Phil cringed as he had flashbacks to what happened in the bathroom and debating on whether or not to tell him. “Um you’re in a hospital. Do you remember what happened in the bathroom when I left?” Phil asked, he knew the doctors were gonna ask questions anyway so he decided to see what Dan remembered. Dan thought for a bit until he had the face of shock. “Shit, shit, shit, shit.” Dan cursed as he remembered. “Don’t tell you you found the note too.” Dan said. Phil looked down avoiding eye contact with Dan.  
“Phil are you ready to pull the plug- oh Dan you’re awake!” Dr. John said as he walked into the room, sounding surprised.   
“Yeah. I’m up. How long was I out?” Dan asked.  
“You were out for weeks. We didn’t expect you to wake up to be honest.”  
“Oh.” Dan said glancing down.  
“Phil could you leave the room so we can see what Dan remembers?”  
Phil looked at Dan who nodded, then he reluctantly got up and left the room.  
“What is your name?”  
“Daniel James Howell.”  
“Who was that?” Dr. John said motioning towards the door.  
“Philip Michael Lester. I don’t have amnesia.”  
“Ok. Do you remember what happened before you came to the hospital?”  
Dan glanced down at his wrists and saw the scars and said, “Clearly.”  
“Would you mind telling us what you do remember?”  
“Do I have to?”  
“It would help us greatly.”  
“I remember feeling worthless and useless and writing a note, slitting my wrists and my whole body if that’s what you’re asking.”  
Dr. John jotted down a few notes and said, “Ok Dan. I’m gonna let you go tomorrow under one condition.”  
Dan looked at the doctor as if he was singing for him to continue.  
“I want you to go to a therapist. It sounds like you have depression and I just want you to get help.”  
Dan glared at the ground but he knew Phil wanted him home as soon as possible. “Fine.”  
Dr. John’s face lighted up as if to say ‘I didn’t think you’d agree that easily’.  
“Ok I’ll go so you can talk to Phil. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about. Oh and Phil was very worried about you. He came to visit you every day.” He said as he walked out of the room.  
A few minutes later Phil walked in and sat down next to Dan’s bed. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until Phil said, “Why did you do it Dan?”  
“I’m sorry. It’s just-” Dan started trying to figure out how to put it into words.  
“Do you not trust me enough to tell me what you’re thinking?”  
“No Phil, I just-”  
“You just what Dan? I tell you everything but you don’t tell me this!” Phil said, tears beginning to form in his eyes.  
“I’m sorry Phil.”  
“I can’t stay mad at you. I missed you too much.” Phil said as he got up and wrapped his arms around Dan who gladly returned the gesture.  
“I’m getting out tomorrow. I’m gonna have to start seeing a therapist.”  
“Whatever will help you get better, Bear.”  
Phil gently kissed the top of Dan’s head and spent a few more hours with him until he had to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Dan looked around the hospital room after Phil left. Phil…. Dan thought. I’ll see you soon… “Dan?” Dr. John said as he snapped Dan out of his thoughts. Dan glanced up at the doctor.  
“I thought you’d like to meet your new therapist Alexa.”   
Dan looked up to see a girl with piercing blue eyes and long almost white hair.  
“Call me Alex.” Alexa said happily.  
“Hi, my name is Dan.” Dan said awkwardly.  
“Nice to meet you Dan.” Alexa giggled.  
“Nice to meet you too Alex.” Dan said.  
“As much as I’d like to get to know you better Dan, I have an appointment scheduled at 12.” Alex said as she walked out of the room.  
“Oh and Dan I just need you to sign your release forms and you’ll be out.” Dr. John said.  
Dan grinned and thought I’ll see you soon Phil. You still should’ve died though. Shut up. What? You know I’m telling the truth. You’re right. Of course I’m right Daniel. I’m always right. I’m also right when I say Philip doesn’t love you. He’s just faking it for your stupid sake. I know.  
“All you need to do sign these release forms and you’re out.” Dr. John said as he held the papers and the pen out at Dan. Dan quickly signed the release forms and left. Time to go home. Phil doesn’t want you at home. Maybe he does. He doesn’t. Ok. But now where am I supposed to go? Anywhere, just stay away from Phil.  
Dan walked slowly out of the hospital. He doesn't exactly know where to go so he just loses himself in his thoughts and begins walking around the streets of London. Why do you stick around when no one wants you around. Why didn’t you just die? You should have cut deeper. It would have made you bleed more and chances are you’d be dead instead of making everyone’s life a living Hell. At this point Dan was running and tears were blurring his vision. Dan ran for what felt like hours until he collapsed on the solid, wet ground.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I put the author’s note up here, fight me. Either way the things in ( ) are just my own personal snarky comments.

Phil slowly opened his eyes and blinked, once, twice, three times and looked at the room around him. He realized that he must’ve fallen asleep in the living room and saw that the moon was out. How long was I asleep? Phil thought. He quickly took out his phone and saw it was the next day. Dan is supposed to be let out of the hospital today, I wonder if he was already let out. Phil quickly got ready and made his way into the hospital. He walked to the front desk, and asked for a pass to see Daniel Howell. The receptionist looked at Phil questionably and said, “Daniel was released a few hours ago.” Phil wondered where Dan as if he wasn't here. He pulled out his cell phone, and dialed Dans number.   
It rang, once, twice three times, and then it went to voicemail. (Like all my hopes and dreams) Phil started to get worried, and hung up the phone. He's started walking home, hoping Dan would be at the flat when he returned. He got to the apartment, and it was exactly how it was when he left. That’s when Phil started to panic. He frantically searched the apartment for any sign of Dan, but to no avail. Maybe he went to Louise's place? Phil thought, he then took out his phone and dialed Louise’s number. It rang a few times until he heard a voice on the other end.  
“Hello?” Louise asked.  
“Hey Louise, it’s Phil, is Dan at your place?” Phil asked in a frantic tone.  
“No, isn’t he still in the hospital?”  
“He got out of it a few hours ago and never came home.”  
“Have you checked your other friends houses? I'll call PJ and Chris, you call other people, I heard Tyler was staying at a hotel.”  
“Okay, thanks Louise!” He answers, tears pricking his eyes.  
He quickly hung up and quickly called a few of his friends. Tyler, negative. Troye, nope. Charlie, and no. He dials Louise again, hoping she had positive news.  
“Hey Phil, how'd it go?” Louise answered.   
“He isn't at Charlie's, Troye’s, or Tyler's… What about you?’ He asked.  
“Nobody has heard from him Phil…” She trailed off.   
Phil’s mind started to race. He isn’t dead is he? He can’t be dead. Did he get kidnaped? Hit by a car?  
“Phil?” Louise’s voice snapped Phil out of his thoughts.  
“Yeah?”  
“I think we should call up our friends and have a search party for Dan.”  
“Shouldn’t we call the police?”  
“You know that isn’t what Dan would want, plus the police might make him even more anxious than he already must be.”  
“You’re right. Call the others and meet me at the Starbucks that me and Dan go to in 15 minutes.”  
“Ok.”  
Phil then hung up and called his friends and told them where to meet and made his way towards the Starbucks. Phil was at a booth near the back. Slowly, his friends started trickling in. Phil was constantly looking at his phone, making sure Dan hasn't tried to contact him, which he hadn’t. Once everyone arrived he said, “Guys, Dan was released from the hospital four hours ago, and I have no clue where he went. I'm asking that you all help me-” Phil choked on the words, and tears started streaming down his face. Dan is gone, it's your fault, you should have been there when he was released. He’ll never forgive you for it. If he’s dead then it’s your fault, you worthless, inconsiderate piece of shit. He most likely doesn’t even want to see you. He wanted to come along with you when your mum was in the hospital but you said no. It’s your fault he ended up in the hospital in the first place. You don’t even make him happy.  
“Phil, it's going to be okay.” Louise said, hugging him. He was sobbing now, the tears unstoppable.   
“Dan is missing and it's all my fault!” He cried, earning some strange looks from the other people in the establishment.  
“Phil it’s not your fault. Dan loves you, and if he ran away it was because he didn't want to hurt you. Right now we need to focus on finding him, not placing blame on anyone. Ok?” Louise hugged him tighter. Phil sniffed a couple times before pairing up his friends.  
“Ok, how about Tyler and Troye, Charlie and Louise, and Chris and PJ?”  
“But won’t you be alone then Phil?” Chris asked.  
“Look Dan is my boyfriend and if I find him I would prefer to talk to him alone.” Phil said. His friends looked hesitant, but they agreed.   
“Phil, I want you to call one of us as soon as you find him, and you have until we get there to talk ok?” Louise asked.   
“Ok.” Phil said.  
They all left Starbucks and dispurced. Phil then started walking around and starting thinking, Dan, I’ll find you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my name is (Dan), not really. Sorry. He’s still unconscious in God knows where. (Well, I do, hehe) Sorry not sorry. Either way a huge thank you to my friend for helping me write this one. Her wattpad is @wierdgirlcantspell and she also NEEDS TO WRITE SOME THINGS ON THERE! So if you could spam her message wall until she writes something that would be wonderful. I can feel her burning hatred right now. Either way, thank you guys so much for reading, constructive criticism is always appreciated, and I hope you guys have a fantastic day!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
Phil has been walking for a while. He hasn't had any text messages from his friends or Dan, meaning he was still missing. He tried to call him again, hoping he would pick up. This time however, it went straight to voicemail. His phone must’ve died. Phil thought. He then wandered around aimlessly until he stumbled across a forest. Maybe Dan is in here…. no he wouldn’t be he’s scared of trees...and moths….but still…. Phil then took a deep breath and stepped into the forest.  
He wandered around the forest until he heard a slight rustling sound and a groan coming from somewhere in the forest. Phil cautiously made his way towards the noise until he saw what looked like a human lying on the ground. He stepped closer to the creature until he could make out features and saw that it was (BIGFOOT jk) Dan. Phil rushed towards him, collapsing to his knees in front of him. “Dan!” Phil shouted with joy. “Worthless, no one loves you, why do you exist?” Dan mumbled, not moving an inch.  
“Dan?” Phil asked.  
“Phil doesn’t care, he’s just pretending for your sake, your “fans” all pity you. You shouldn’t exist. You’re just a mistake. You dropped out of uni, one day Phil’s going to leave you and then what will you have? Nothing. Nothing at all because no one likes you, no one cares about you, and everyone wants to see you burn.”  
“DAN!” Phil shouted as he shook Dan.  
“Phil?”  
Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and started sobbing. Dan was dazed at first but started hugging Phil back.  
“Are you ok?” Dan asked.  
“Me!?! You’re the one that’s been out here for-” he paused to pull out his phone to check the time, “7 hours!”  
“Has it really been that long?” Dan mumbled.  
“YES! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!”  
Dan stared at Phil. He almost never cursed so that was a shock to him.  
“Phil, I'm sorry, I just didn't want to burden you.” Dan sighed.   
“Dan, I need you to understand something. I do not hate you. I could never hate you. Dan I love you more than anything. Someday I wanna marry you, adopt kids with you, and be with you until I die. I’ve loved you for the longest time and I won’t stop loving you anytime soon. Plus I can’t imagine my life without you. If you leave, then you might as well take away my reason for living. I mean the others are great but none could compare to you, ever, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Phil said as he looked Dan in the eyes.  
Now it was Dan’s turn to cry. He started sobbing and Phil took the younger boy in his arms and showed no signs of letting go. Phil then began to stroke Dan’s hair while he cried. Once Dan had calmed down he took out his phone and called Louise to tell her that he found Dan.  
“Great. Now you two go to your apartment and I’ll tell the others to meet you there.” Louise said and hung up.  
“Phil, why did you call Louise?” Dan asked, looking up at Phil.   
“Oh, we had.. We had a search party for you. It was me, Louise, Chris, PJ, Charlie, Tyler, and Troye.” Phil answered. “Come on, can you walk? We should head to the flat”  
“Yeah, I think I can.” Dan said, as he got up off the ground. The pair headed back to their flat, and everyone was already there. I must've left the door unlocked. Phil thought. Phil looked around, and Louise was sat at the table, Chris and PJ on the floor, Charlie in a bean bag chair, and Tyler and Troye on the loveseat, cuddled together, sleeping.   
“DAN!” Louise screeched, waking up Tyler and Troye.   
“God damnit Louise be quiet!” Dan said, laughing. Tyler and Troye realized they were cuddling and moved away from each other, and Chris and PJ stood up to hug him. Eventually, everybody said hello, and then goodbye as they left. Dan and Phil were left in the flat alone, with just their thoughts.


	12. Chapter 11

Dan and Phil were on the couch, just sitting silently. If someone were to walk in, they would seem happy, but inside of Phil's mind, it was like a raging battle between sanity and insanity. Dan gave Phil a quick glance as if he was trying to figure out what was going on inside the other male’s mind. Let’s see, he found you with cuts all over your body, you were in the hospital for god knows how long, then once you finally got of you literally ran into a dark fucking forest with trees and moths and shit, just to have Phil find your sorry ass a few hours later. So I don’t think anything going on inside his head is exactly PLEASANT at the moment. After a few more minutes of sitting in an uncomfortable silence Dan decided it would be best to leave the room and go to bed, maybe get on the internet for a bit.  
“I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight Phil.” Dan said, Phil acted as if he didn’t hear Dan and kept staring off into space. Dan walked into his room and unplugged his laptop and got on Twitter just to be bombarded with notifications. “I wonder where Dan is?” “Are you dead?” “Did you quit YouTube?” Dan wondered if he should let his fans know that he wasn’t dead. But then they’d ask where you’ve been, what are you gonna tell them then, are you gonna tell them that you’re a depressed faggot that should go die that tried, but couldn’t even do that right? No…..maybe I could tell them that I went on a vacation and didn’t have access to the internet…..no they would never believe that, me, surviving for that long without internet? That’s funny. But I should still let them know I’m alive.  
After contemplating what to tell his fans for a minute he decided on, “sorry guys i was in the hospital for a few weeks i was v sick and they didn’t have internet” Most of the fans seemed to buy it but there were a few that still had a hard time believing Dan’s story. He ignored them, and logged out of Twitter and onto Tumblr. He liked Tumblr. He could do whatever he wanted, and rarely be judged. Honestly, all he does is repost. After mindlessly scrolling for a while, he turned off his laptop and went to bed. He has a hard time falling asleep because of his thoughts, but eventually he gets there.   
When Dan finally wakes up the next morning, he paces up and down his bedroom floor, wondering what he could possibly say to Phil as to why he did it. He doesn't know how long he had been pacing when Phil knocked on the door.   
“Dan, are you okay? You're pacing.” he asks, opening the door slowly.   
“Oh hey Phil, I was just, you know thinking. Did I wake you?”   
“No, I was already awake. I didn't sleep much last night. On the bright side, I have a new video to edit and post!” He added, trying to sound happy. It failed miserably as his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.   
“Phil, are you okay?” Dan asked worriedly. Of course he isn't fucking okay, you ran away yesterday and now he’s worried about your sorry ass. Phil stayed silent for a minute, looking at his feet, before looking back at Dan with tears in his eyes.  
“Why did you do it, Dan?” His voice cracked again. “I was thinking about it last night, and I can't figure it out. What did I do Dan?”  
Dan was shocked and amazed that Phil thought it was something Phil did. Did I really make him think that? Does he honestly care? No. He’s just using you for views. He don’t care about you whatsoever. Stop it. Why,because you know I’m right? STOP IT! No one will ever love you.   
“STOP IT!” Dan screamed causing Phil to jump back a bit.  
“I'm sorry I- I don't know-” Phil stuttered.  
“No! Damnit! I wasn't talking to you!” Dan blurted, still shouting.  
“Dan? Who were you talking to? I don't know what to do…” Phil said, trailing off.  
“I was- um I was talking to, I was talking to myself.” Dan said, clearing his throat a couple of times.   
“Yourself?” Phil asked, tilting his head.   
See, now he thinks you're crazy, you complete and utterly worthless piece of trash. You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you? Now he’s going to leave you for sure. I’m amazed he didn’t do it earlier. I think I figured out why he’s called AmazingPhil, because it’s AMAZING how much of your BULLSHIT he can handle. Dan felt a few tears begin to trickle down his face.  
“Dan?”  
“Go away. I know you’re going to leave, so just do it now.” Dan said, the tears falling faster.  
Phil walked up to Dan and wrapped his arms around him, “Dan I’m not going to leave you, I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”  
Dan just stood there, shocked by what Phil just said and the fact that Phil was hugging him. He wasn't hugging back, but eventually he wrapped his arms around Phil. Phil hugged him tighter when he did this, but suddenly Dan's shoulder felt damp. Dan pulled away, and saw Phil crying.   
“Phil?” He asked.   
“Sorry.” He said wiping his eyes. “ I'm good, I was just shocked you thought I would leave.” Phil smiled at Dan, and Dan held up his pinky finger.   
“I'll never leave you if you never leave me” Dan said in a content tone, happy for once. The only thing that could make him happier at this moment is if Phil interlocked their fingers and that's just what Phil did.


End file.
